


... To Begin Again

by alison



Series: I Feel So Useless. Do You? [2]
Category: One Direction (Band), Radio 1 RPF
Genre: Adultery, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Blow Jobs, Cheating, Dirty Talk, M/M, Semi-Public Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-16
Updated: 2013-05-16
Packaged: 2017-12-12 01:48:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/805727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alison/pseuds/alison
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick is married. His husband's name is not Louis.</p><p>Louis shows up late to class. His professor forgives him. And then it starts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	... To Begin Again

**Author's Note:**

> This is a prequel. It is meant to be read _after_ "I Climb to Fall..." but it is set before.
> 
> Wherever there is a "-" between paragraphs, there is a change in POV.
> 
> (Many thanks to [Kay](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ImNotOhKay/pseuds/ImNotOhKay) as always for test reading.)
> 
> (And also thanks to Ava for the inspiring story of two of her customers doing sexy stuff in a dressing room.)

 

When Louis rushes into the classroom at half ten, he's 15 minutes late, very wet, and very dirty. He forgot his umbrella, got stuck in traffic, slid on a muddy sidewalk, and now he's gasping for breath as he steps nervously into the classroom, anxious eyes finding the professor at the front to throw him an apologetic look. And he nearly walks straight out, nearly gives up on today and this class and maybe uni in general because his teacher is young and cute and glaring at him. Just not a very good start to the term, Louis thinks. Not really at all.

“Sorry, sir,” he mutters and goes to find an empty seat, all of which are right up front.

So, he sits front and center, and he sinks down into his chair as the professor goes back to explaining the course requirements after a long, scrutinizing look. His gaze seems to fall over Louis unusually often and Louis thinks it's probably the fact that he's sitting right in front of him, but it's a piercing gaze and it makes Louis want to disappear. When he goes over the attendance policy, he smirks as he pointedly notes that tardiness won't be tolerated.

After class, Louis thinks he needs to explain himself because he's not that student. He's not a slacker, not someone who thinks it's acceptable to be late, so he stays after class and waits until everyone else has filtered out, walking up to the podium where the professor is packing up his briefcase.

“Sorry, Professor Grimshaw, I-”

“Nick. Everyone calls me Nick,” he says, his eyes darting up for a moment before looking back down.

“Okay, sorry, Nick,” Louis says slowly, trying to get used to the informality. “Just had a rough morning, but I promise it won't happen again.”

Nick looks up to appraise him, letting his eyes fall down Louis' figure, resting on his knees which are now crusted with drying mud.

“Rough morning, hmm?” He says and it's half-teasing, half-inappropriate.

Louis flushes, stammering.

“No, no, I fell. Slipped on the pavement outside.”

Nick smirks, patting Louis' arm casually.

“Wasn't implying anything,” he says innocently. “Listen, it's the first day. I'm a reasonable guy. Just don't let it happen again, yeah? I want to see your happy, shining face front and center when I get here next time, alright?”

Louis nods, breathing a sigh of relief and walks out of the room, thinking that maybe he'll like this class after all.

When Nick walks into the classroom two days later for class, Louis is in his previous seat, sitting up straight, smiling as Nick's eyes fall on him immediately. Nick winks and nods approvingly as he moves to the podium to start class.

 

They develop a sort of camaraderie as the term continues on. Louis helps him collect papers and set up AV equipment and even helps him with paperwork in his office sometimes. It's a strictly professional friendship except for the little nagging crush Louis feels toward his older professor and sometimes it feels like they're flirting when Nick teases him for his often illegible handwriting or when he smiles over at Louis for no reason. But, Louis knows how these student crushes go, knows it's all in his head.

When he overhears another professor asking Nick if his husband is coming to some faculty dinner, Louis isn't surprised at all, but his heart still sinks a little. He's noticed the ring on Nick's finger, but he was sort of hoping it was just a fashion statement instead of a promise.

It's not as though it changes anything, though. Louis still stops by Nick's office after class and shows him how to get his e-mail synced to his phone and he still flirts and imagines that Nick is flirting back. And it's good enough.

When final exams come, Louis is a bit bummed that the class is going to be over, but Nick signals for him to stay after the exam. When everyone else is finished and the room is empty, Louis walks up to the front with a happy sigh, dropping his bag on the floor next to him.

“Was this your last exam then?” Nick asks, noticing the relief on Louis' face.

“Yeah, last one,” he nods. “Better not fail me,” he adds with a little glare.

“My best student? I'm sure you did wonderfully,” Nick assures, smiling easily.

“Just wish I knew for sure so I could, like, get pissed tonight and not worry about anything.”

Nick smirks and flips through the exams, finding Louis'.

“Want me to grade it now?” He asks, holding the paper up. Then he digs into his briefcase, pulling out a flask, grinning mischievously. “Why wait until tonight?”

Louis' eyes go wide, a smile lighting up his face.

“Professor Grimshaw,” he says, scandalized. “I'm certain that's against the rules.”

Nick chuckles, leaning in close to Louis' ear, whispering.

“Fuck the rules.”

 

In his office, Louis pulls up a chair next to Nick's desk, throwing his feet up on the wood and he takes a long sip from the flask as Nick starts grading his exam, humming thoughtfully here and there as he reads. Louis waits anxiously, passing the flask to Nick from time to time and, after twenty minutes, Louis' head feels light and he's happily tipsy, just enough to loosen him up, his movements feeling more fluid.

“Okay, all done,” Nick announces, looking up and stealing the flask from Louis' hand.

“Oh!” Louis says, almost having forgotten why he was here. He drops his feet from the desk and sits up straight. “How'd I do?”

“Still my best student,” he says, handing the exam to Louis and taking a long pull from the flask.

Louis sees the red “98” at the top and smiles brightly, then immediately frowns.

“Wait, what'd I get marks off for?” He asks, flipping through to read Nick's notes in the margins.

Nick laughs next to him, pulling the paper from his grasp as Louis pouts.

“Just little things,” he says before muttering “perfectionist” under his breath.

Louis' honestly glad for the 98, so he leans back, smiling lazily as the liquor settles in.

“Maybe you had too much,” Nick says, wiggling Louis' arm until Louis smiles and pulls his arm back.

“Nah, 'm good. I'm here.”

And Louis looks up into Nick's piercing gaze, smiling some more and biting his lip because the liquor is making the flirting feel a lot more real than any of their other platonic interactions. Nick isn't looking away, his eyes flicking down to where Louis' lip is sucked into his mouth and he reaches out to touch his thumb to Louis' chin, smiling to himself.

“You're so cute,” Nick says quietly, like he's saying to to himself.

And maybe the liquor is settling into his brain because Louis smiles widely, deciding to let himself be a little stupid.

-

Nick's not drunk enough to blame his statement on the liquor, thinks it must be Louis' scent clouding his judgment because the boy smells so good, like fresh air.

Louis' smiling and nodding slowly, hesitantly crawling up onto Nick's lap when Nick pulls him forward.

“And you're so married,” he responds, but he's still smiling, his hands resting on Nick's shoulders.

“Mmm,” Nick hums in agreement because he is indeed married, but he has a pretty, angelic boy on his lap and that's far more important right now.

His hands fall to Louis' hips and he tries to remember the last time he wanted someone this badly. The boy is intoxicating and Nick's head is swimming with need.

“Sure you're here?” He asks to be sure he's not taking advantage of a drunk young boy.

“Yeah, I'm sure. I'm here,” Louis responds quietly, nodding.

Good enough then, Nick supposes.

He plucks one of Louis' hands off his shoulder and guides it to his chest, pushing it down slowly enough that Louis can stop him if he wants. He gives him plenty of time to walk away, but Louis lets his hand be guided down, biting his lip as it comes to rest on Nick's trousers over the growing bulge there. Their hands still and Louis' just staring at them, like he's thinking about what to do.

“You gonna fail me if I don't?” He asks, finally looking up into Nick's eyes.

“Of course not,” Nick says quickly, gently. “You already got your A. This is just for fun. If you want.”

He waits for a reaction but he only gets a tiny little nod from Louis. After waiting a minute, he pushes down on Louis' hand, pressing it against his trousers and rubbing slowly. It doesn't take long before Louis is moving his hand independently and Nick can pull his own hand away to let Louis take over.

“'S big,” he mumbles, wrapping his fingers around what he can through the material.

Nick smirks and leans forward to press his lips to Louis' neck, breathing in that wonderful scent as he licks against the skin.

“Want to get a closer look?” He asks as he struggles to keep his hips still. Pulling his lips away from Louis' neck, he nods downward to encourage him. “Go on,” he adds softly.

Louis slides easily down off of Nick's lap and, once on his knees, takes a deep breath, moving his hand back up to palm Nick's erection again. He looks nervous, sort of, like he's breaking some rule by touching Nick. But of course he is, they both are. Rules are being broken left and right, but Nick wants to reassure Louis, so he gets up and walks to his office door, clicking the lock before moving back to his previous position, sitting down. He looks down at Louis with soft eyes and drops a hand to his cheek, cradling it comfortingly.

“You're alright,” he says. “Don't worry, it's just us.”

And Louis does seem to relax at that, nodding to himself as he lifts his hands to unfasten Nick's trousers, pulling the zipper down slowly.

Nick glues his hands to the armrests of the chair, letting Louis peel back his trousers and pull out his hard cock, stroking it slowly. Nick bites back a grin, moaning lowly at the feeling.

“Feels good,” he says softly, encouraging Louis along. Dropping a hand to Louis' mouth, he traces his thumb along Louis' lip. “Pretty lips.”

Louis looks up at him and he looks so fucking innocent, even though Nick knows he's not, knows he's no angel. But he looks it now, small hand moving over his cock, eyes clear and sparkling up at him.

“Yeah?” he asks.

“So pretty, babe, so beautiful,” Nick confirms. “C'mere,” he says, taking hold of his cock and pulling Louis' head forward until his lips are almost touching it.

He's throbbing in his hand, feels like he might go crazy if he doesn't feel Louis' mouth around him, but he needs Louis to close the distance, needs to see how much he wants it, too.

And he does, licking his lips quickly before moving his head down, lips covering the tip, then sliding down the length.

“Oh god,” Nick breathes as Louis takes him in. “Fuck.”

He feels Louis' lips tighten around him with a smile and Nick closes his eyes for a moment to sober himself because otherwise he might just come right then, just from the sight. When he thinks it's safe, he opens his eyes again and looks down at the beautiful boy bobbing up and down on his cock like this is his element, like he was born to do this.

“You love this, don't you, love sucking cock,” Nick mutters, partly to himself.

Louis looks up at him, cock deep in his mouth and his eyes say it all. Yeah, he fucking loves it.

“Fuck, your mouth is so good, babe.”

Louis moans around him and Nick brings a hand to the back of the boy's head, holding him down. He feels Louis' throat constrict around him, making him gag a little before Nick pulls him back. And even though Louis' glaring up at him now, he sees that it's a lust-filled glare, sees that Louis likes letting Nick abuse his mouth.

“Good boy,” he says, nodding, as he closes his eyes again and lets Louis work his tongue along Nick's length. “Take it so well, don't you.”

Louis hums and Nick's too fucking gone to make this last, wants to make Louis choke on his come, wants to paint his tongue with it. He groans, pushing his hips up to meet Louis' mouth and he tightens his grip on Louis' hair, pulling him in.

And Louis' tongue is incredible, constantly moving, working skillfully along his cock as Nick fucks up into his mouth. It's so good and Nick feels his release right around the corner, bearing down on him.

“You gonna swallow, babe?” He asks, his throat tight. “Gonna suck me dry?”

He loosens his grip on Louis' head, letting the boy nod around him and Nick throws his head back as Louis takes him deep. He sucks hard and Nick unravels under him, letting Louis suck the orgasm out of him, spilling into his warm mouth, coming down his throat.

Louis sucks it down, takes it all just like Nick knew he would and, as he finishes, Nick drops his head to the side, pulling his cock from Louis' mouth. He brings his hand down to Louis' cheek, stroking his skin gently with his thumb.

“Jesus, Louis,” he breathes. “You're amazing at that, you know?”

Louis blushes, or at least Nick thinks he's blushing – his cheeks are already pink so it's hard to tell - and he drops his head without responding.

“Did so well, love,” Nick adds in a sigh before pulling his pants over his softening cock and zipping up. As if that's some sort of cue, Louis scrambles up from his knees, standing and searching for his bag. He finds it and hesitates before turning to leave, but Nick's on his feet surprisingly quickly for just having come and he stops Louis with a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, wait,” he says softly because the term is over and there's a chance he won't see him again, so he doesn't want him gone just yet. “I'm going to text you later, alright?”

And Louis stills, like he's unsure, so Nick pushes his thumb up from Louis' shoulder, gliding along the side of his neck. He kisses the back of Louis' neck lightly and whispers again.

“That okay?”

Louis hesitates, then nods a little nod and this time Nick lets him leave, eyes falling to the boy's beautiful arse as he walks out, and he smiles to himself.

-

_hope you had fun the other day xx_

Louis receives the text around midnight a few days after the office blowjob and his cheeks go red as he reads it. He hasn't been able to think about anything else since then, honestly, can't focus for shit.

He contemplates not replying, knows he shouldn't, but his fingers stubbornly type the short message, disobeying the rational part of his brain.

_i may have_

A response comes quickly and Louis groans as he opens the new text.

_got such a nice mouth. think about it every night._

He hates that he's getting hard from this, but he's basically been hard for a few days straight just thinking about Nick's cock in his mouth, remembering all the things he said. So it's not a stretch for this to have an effect on him.

_aren't you concerned your husband will see this?_

Because if Nick isn't going to bring it up, he is. It's a thing, the wedding band on Nick's ring finger, it's a big thing and Louis feels like it bears mentioning.

_i'll delete it. don't worry._

And it's not much of an acknowledgment, but it's something, Louis supposes.

_good_

He'd rather not be hunted down by some bear of a guy because Nick's sending him dirty texts in the middle of the night, so he's relieved Nick is at least smart enough to be a little careful.

_you're such a beautiful boy, you know. so fucking beautiful._

When Louis doesn't respond to that, Nick sends one more text.

_wanted you all term, ever since i saw you walk in with dirt on your knees and your wet shirt clinging to you_

Louis groans again and hates himself when he pushes his hand inside his pants, wanking himself to the memories of Nick fucking his mouth once again, wondering when he'll get over it.

 

A few days later, Louis steps back to try to get a better look at the pants he's trying on, cursing the person who decided this poor excuse for a mirror would be sufficient. He turns to see how his arse looks but, in the confined space, he can't get a good view.

Huffing, he opens the door and steps out into the open walkway, turning to look into the larger mirror there. He toys with the waistband, pulling it down a bit on his hips as he considers.

But someone appears over his shoulder at the end of the hall behind him, breaking his concentration. The figure stops suddenly when their eyes meet in the mirror.

Louis panics a bit, not knowing what to do. Running straight out of the shop crosses his mind but that would also be theft and he doesn't fancy going to jail over a pair of skinny jeans.

Instead, he turns to go back into his dressing room, coughing awkwardly, but Nick is right there, meeting him at the doorway.

"Hey," he says, grabbing Louis' arm gently. "You never answered my last text."

Louis takes a shaky breath and looks nervously over Nick's shoulder, wondering if his husband is here. Isn't that what married couples do? Saturday trips to the shop together? He just sees a sales girl rummaging through a rack of shirts at the end of the hall, but his husband could be right around the corner.

Nick sees his apprehension and pushes him back, closing the door behind them. When they're alone, Louis exhales heavily as Nick trails light fingers down his arm.

"Thought it would be easier if we didn't talk," he explains, his voice as light as a whisper.

"Was it?" Nick asks, fingers gliding up to Louis' neck, his eyes dark and paralyzing.

"Kind of."

It was, really. It was easier to let Nick drop out of his life, even if he didn't disappear from his thoughts. Even if Louis still thought about that day in his office every time he wanked.

"So, do you want me to walk away now?" Nick asks, his voice is low and husky and his fingers wrapping around the back of Louis' neck and Louis can't suppress a small shiver at the feeling.

"Probably should," Louis says, his hands instinctively grasping at the sides of Nick's shirt.

"But do you _want_ me to?"

As Louis tries to force a "yes" out of his mouth, his fingers don't budge from Nick's shirt and it's useless. After a stretch of silence, Nick smirks, leaning down to kiss Louis' neck.

"Didn't think so," he whispers before backing up, holding Louis at arm's length. "Now let's see these pants."

Nick turns Louis around, facing him toward the mirror. He eyes Louis' bum with an approving expression before stepping up behind him, placing his hands on Louis' hips.

"Hmm. You know, I think they're a bit loose," he says, his hands moving over the waistband.

Louis' about to protest because they're tight enough that he can practically see his thigh muscles flex when he moves, but then Nick's thumb is hooking under the material by his hipbone.

"Bet you could fit a hand in there," he says, pushing his fingertips under the waistband. "Shall we see? Hmm?"

Louis' frozen and he should be pulling away because they're in a fucking public dressing room and Nick's hand is slowly pushing into his jeans, or the shop's jeans since he hasn't paid for them, and for all he knows Nick's husband is right outside the door. He has every reason to pull away, but he can't move as Nick gets his hand halfway covered before he can't go any farther.

"Looks like I was wrong," he says, pulling his hand out and immediately working at the button.

Louis finally moves dazedly, trying to slide his hands under Nick's as he squirms uncomfortably. Their eyes meet in the mirror and Nick stops his movements, but doesn't remove his hands.

"Hey," he says softly, bringing his lips down to Louis' neck. "Let me touch you. You want me to, don't you?"

Louis groans pitifully, his knees feeling a bit wobbly. Nick drops a hand down to cup at the bulge in Louis' jeans.

“Feels like you want me to,” he says into Louis' skin.

“We're in public,” is his only response, a hushed whisper that doesn't stand a chance of holding any weight.

“Just you and me in here,” Nick mumbles, lips still pressing light kisses into his neck as he pulls Louis' hands away. “Let me make you feel good.”

And then he's back at the zipper, pulling it down and pushing his hand under Louis' pants. When the long fingers find his cock, Louis bites his lip hard, feeling like he could fall over. Nick's other hand comes around to push the jeans and pants aside just enough to free his erection from the material as he grips it loosely and begins working his hand up and down.

Louis' spine feels like jelly and the view in the mirror is too much for him to handle so he clamps his eyelids down, digging his fingers into his thighs. The hand that's been holding his pants down moves up his stomach, dipping under his shirt and sliding up his torso. When Louis opens his eyes, he sees Nick watching intently, eyes flicking up and down, devouring him.

Nick tightens his grip a bit, his other hand roaming over his stomach, hiking his shirt up and leaving Louis exposed.

“Jesus, you're beautiful,” Nick breathes, hot against Louis' ear. “Such a nice cock, such a nice little body. This feel good?”

Louis nods and whines, his breath coming out quickly now.

“Yeah? Like that? Gonna say my name, babe?”

“Fuck,” Louis groans as Nick's hand picks up its pace.

Nick kisses his ear softly as Louis moans again, teeth scraping softly against the lobe.

“Have to be quiet, love,” he whispers.

Louis bites his lip, nodding as he tries not to buck his hips up into Nick's grip, letting Nick do it all, letting him take care of him.

“Such a good boy, such a lovely boy,” Nick goes on. “You gonna come for me? Gonna let me see?”

“Yeah,” Louis whispers eagerly as Nick's thumb fits over the tip of his cock, rubbing just hard enough to make his mind go blank, making him forget to stay quiet. He moans again and Nick clicks his tongue disapprovingly, lifting the hand on Louis' stomach up to cover Louis' mouth.

“Want to get caught, babe? Gotta stay quiet for me,” he says, repeating the motions of his thumb against the tip of Louis' cock. “Or maybe you do want to get caught. Want that sales clerk out there to hear you begging for it? Want her to know what a slut you are, love?”

Louis closes his eyes, feeling his orgasm approaching quickly. He squeaks a bit into Nick's hand, feeling embarrassed by Nick's words, but also like the blood in his veins is on fire and it's all rushing to his cock.

“Such a pretty slut, though,” he muses and Louis opens his eyes to see Nick's eyes trained on the hand working Louis' cock, his wrist flicking quickly with each tug. “Ready to come for me? Want to see it so bad, Louis. Want to feel it in my hand.”

Louis shuts his eyes again, throwing his head back onto Nick's shoulder and he feels the familiar sensation, feels it hit. He tries to a stifle his moan, but it escapes his lips, muffled by Nick's hand.

He comes, moaning loudly, and Nick's hand tightens over his mouth. Louis keeps his eyes closed, letting Nick support his weight as he shudders through his orgasm, letting Nick stroke him through it until he's spent and Nick's hand moves from his cock to his hip, rubbing comfortingly. The hand keeps moving up, pushing Louis' shirt up again, rubbing his chest and stomach and it's not until then that Louis hazily feels the erection pressing against the top of his bum. Finally, Nick removes the hand from Louis' mouth and brings it down to pull Louis' hips back as he grinds against Louis' arse.

“So hot when you come,” he says, pressing a soft kiss against the side of Louis' neck. “Feel how excited you got me?”

He pushes his hips forward again, his hands traveling over Louis' body and Louis' still coming down from his orgasm but it's all so hot he thinks his head may explode.

“You tired, baby?”

Louis doesn't know how to respond, so he doesn't.

“Bet you are,” Nick answers for him. “Don't worry, not gonna make you work for it. Just get on your knees, okay, love?”

Nick nudges Louis away from his body and Louis finally finds his muscles, finally opens his eyes to see streaks of cum on the mirror and his softening dick hanging out of his trousers. He turns to face Nick and Nick smiles, nodding downward.

Louis drops to his knees, too overwhelmed by everything to question anything. So he drops and he's face level with the zipper on Nick's trousers and he tries to prepare himself to take Nick's cock into his mouth.

Nick pets Louis' hair for a moment, mumbling whispered words of adoration while he unbuttons his trousers with his other hand. When the zipper is pulled down, Nick brings both hands up to pull out his erection, wrapping his right hand around himself.

It's so close to Louis' face, just an inch away, and Louis opens his mouth, ready to take Nick in, but Nick just smiles above him, stroking his length quickly.

“Good, yeah, keep your mouth open for me,” he says tightly.

But he doesn't push past Louis' lips, just keeps tugging on himself, his movements getting jerky as he looks down at Louis' face. Louis feels the wet tip slide across his bottom lip, teasing his mouth, and he's ashamed at how badly he wants to take Nick into his mouth, how badly he wants to taste him. But he stays put, letting Nick rub precome messily against his lips as keeps his mouth open, waiting.

“Gonna come in that pretty mouth, okay?” Nick says, clearly on the edge. “Open wider, love, let me see that tongue.”

Louis does, he stretches his mouth open wider and the tip of Nick's cock pushes forward, just past Louis' parted lips. Then Louis feels it, feels hot liquid shooting at the back of his throat and he waits until Nick has finished to pull back and swallow it down.

Above him, Nick steps back to lean against the wall behind him, lidded eyes trained on Louis'. He's still got his hand on his cock, unmoving, and Louis needs to get up off his knees, but his muscles aren't cooperating just yet, so he takes a moment, eyes locked with Nick's. Sneaking his tongue out, he licks at his lips, tasting the leftovers of Nick's release and Nick drops his head back against the wall, his eyes closing.

“Fuck,” he says quietly before opening his eyes again and tucking himself back into his pants, zipping up his trousers.

Louis goes to do the same, but Nick takes a step forward and pulls up on his arm before he can pull up his pants.

“Hold on. Come here,” he says, pulling Louis up into a standing position, helping him balance as they look into each other's eyes for a moment.

Then Nick drops his lips to Louis' collarbone, pressing a little kiss into the skin there before dropping to his knees. And Louis just watches as Nick kisses his hip before pulling Louis' pants up gently, covering his cock, then pressing a series of light kisses into the fabric, kisses that make Louis whimper because he's getting hard again under the material and he's so sensitive from just having come, but it feels so good, too.

Nick finally pulls his lips away, tugging the jeans down over Louis' hips, slowly sliding them down his legs, fingers pressing into his thighs as he pushes the material down. When he's got them down, having Louis lift his feet to slide them off entirely, he stands and folds them in his arms.

“I'm going to buy these, okay?” He says quietly, stepping close to Louis again. “I want to see your beautiful arse walking around campus in them. And when you're wearing them, I want you to think about today, about my hand wrapped around you, getting you off. I want to see your dick hard under the tight denim and I want you to come to my office and let me help you when you're so hard it hurts.”

Louis whimpers at Nick's words because it hurts now, hurts because he's hard under his pants and he just came and it's all so overwhelming.

“I'll tell the cashier you'll pick them up on your way out,” he says, hesitating and pressing his lips into Louis' temple before he turns and walks out of the dressing room.

Louis sits on the bench in the small room, dropping his head back against the wall and breathing, willing his erection to go down and willing himself to not think about what just happened. Because what just happened was insane and hot and Louis can already feel it, the hold Nick has on him, wrapping tightly around his skin and he feels like they just set a standard for whatever is happening between the two of them, like Louis gave his permission for it to continue on like this.

And, on one hand, he wants to scream that this isn't what he wants, that he doesn't want dressing room handjobs and office blowjobs. He doesn't want secrecy and he doesn't want to hurt people.

But on the other hand, he wants it more than he's wanted anything, wants the shame and the danger and Nick's filthy words falling over his ear as his fingers touch him everywhere. He wants Nick to take anything he pleases from Louis because giving that to him, giving him everything... As much as Louis hates himself for it, it's the best feeling he's ever had.

 


End file.
